(For, Russ, Jodi, Eric, Vinny, Tom, John, Mikey, Brian, Steve, Amos, & Kim)

My mind is a cemetery

These blue-gray eyes regurgitate

Dissecated corpses

Whose lives I’ve swallowed

And held inside for so long

I’m swollen with every death

Except my own

My thoughts slide across

Floors greased by blood from

Your slit wrists

And I wonder if I had enough

Spread this hand for you to hold

If I’d tried

To slam the door on the car

That became your coffin

If I’d been there

Could I have cut

The noose before it was tied

To connect bars to your neck

If I’d just kept

My temper and some patience

Would your bones have come to rest

In some unmarked bush

Left by vengeful fingers who

Couldn’t reach me

From the dumpster where

They dumped you

Carved open and squeezed

Dry of every heart drop

We possessed,

That’s when they killed me too.

Yet I linger mausoleum-like

Shoving ancient remains from shelves

To make room for new vacancies,

Your tongue less skulls

Crowd my shoulders crumbled façade

Whisper soliloquies

Which leave me empty



About “Somniloquy”

I have memories of fun and laughter where I am the only person still alive. So many of my friends are gone now that I often wonder how I’m still here; I, the least deserving of them all.

The original versions of this piece are longer, sometimes much longer, but I had to cut it down to approach something good enough for those it’s dedicated to. There are more names which deserve to be on that list, more stories that deserve to be told, I’m working on it.




















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